TIPSTERMANIA 18 WEEK 5 REPORT
RANKIN AND RONALD RULE THE ROOST
Record returns wreck it
WILKINSON’S DROP IN THE OCEAN
Ian in the money
WHITBY’S WIN’S A WEE ONE
Doesn’t exactly the bank
Well that’s torn it.
Every time I see one of these
ridiculous roll-ups being picked I can’t help but shake my head a little in
patronising mockery, chuckling internally at the crazy, mixed-up fools and
their misguided optimism, which is a trait I certainly don’t share. So who’s laughing now? Not me, that’s for sure.
I was astonished to see that GUY RONALD had the audacity and sheer bloody-mindedness
to pick Rangers 1/7 again this week
after what they inflicted upon him the last time when Stenhousmuir equalised
with a late penalty. This time, the
Light Blues were awarded a very debatable and very late penalty of their own
and won 1-0. One down, ten to go.
Those who didn’t get the chance
to watch the racing will have missed just how eventful the 3.15 Newb was. At the 2nd
last hurdle, five horses met it within a length of each other. Jumps Road 13/2 was last of the group,
nearest to the outside rail. To the
inside, the leading horse fell, taking the one next to it down in the process
when it was travelling smoothly. The
next horse to clear the flight then tripped over the fallers in a very amusing
fashion. It all left the first horse of ASHLEY RANKIN’s double with a much
easier task, and it stayed on nicely to do the honours. One down, one to go.
At this point, I owe my dear
friend Alan Gibbs an apology. I may inadvertently
led him to believe that his horse won the 3.30 at Donny and then, in a fit of
panic, reported on social media that he had got a double up when his other one
won the 3.50 at Newbury to ruin everyone’s lives. It turns out that he had picked Real Milan
when it was Night In Milan that actually won.
I texted him in between the races to express my “delight” that he had a
sweat on. He replied that he was at a
quiz event and had taped the racing to watch when he got home and didn’t want
me to spoil it for him. So, when mistake
was subsequently pointed out on Twitter by Ste Garnett, I thought it best to
keep the “bad” news to myself. Imagine
how upset I was when he texted me at 10.00pm, expressing his disappointment at
being led down a garden path so strewn with the dog-turds of despair. I think I’ve finally stopped laughing now,
but typing this has started me off again.
The 4.25 Newb was the next one to watch, just in case the 14/1 outsider of the field, Headly’s Bridge, could provide some
bona fide excitement. As I watched the
race in The Shed in Annan, the finest sports bar in the United Kingdom (for
now), I kicked myself for not backing it, as I had done the second one of
Gibbo’s. I forgot to mention that to him
last night. He’ll be revolted to know
that I profited from his misfortune, which has just set me off laughing
again. It’s hard work typing with tears
in your eyes. It didn’t look like I had
missed the boat 4 fences out, but as they rounded the turn, I bet Ash moved
forward in his chair and felt his pulse increase as his horse closed up,
travelling sweetly. If there is anyone
who wonders why us gamblers keep going back to the losing well time and again, it’s
that feeling that gets you every time.
There’s nothing else like it, that feeling of sweet anticipation. Well, there’s that other thing, I suppose,
but you can very rarely win money at that.
As they approached the 2nd last fence, his lad had a length
lead over his nearest challenger, who was going just as well. That is until it took a crashing fall,
leaving Ash’s home and hosed. The manner
it cleared away from the last fence told me that it would’ve won anyway, but
Ash certainly has those two obstacles to thank for helping him to the biggest
Tipster win for many a year, £225.00.
And then Stoke were awarded a penalty.
The Shed has at least a dozen
TVs, some bigger than others. Two of
them constantly show the racing channels, even on Xmas Day. On a Saturday, the landlord ignores all known
law and shows as many football matches as he can lay his electronic hands on, although
the Everton game wasn’t one, unfortunately.
From my speck, sat with Nic, her Dad and the other old gamblers, I could
see the Chelsea game, ignore the Celtic one and keep half an eye on the
Arsenal. As it happens, I’d backed the
filthy anti-Semites in my own coupon, even though I despise them. Never again.
I’m no fan of Stoke 17/4
either, unlike Guy Ronald. I get the
feeling he’s a local lad a life-long fan.
It must be nice, therefore, for him to enjoy some thick to go with the
thin he must’ve suffered all his years.
As his other nine picks, Chelsea,
Everton, Leicester, Wolves, Leyton Orient, Braintree, Motherwell, Celtic and
Dundee were all odds-on shots, I was
far from sure if Guy’s return would be enough to overtake Ash. But, having crunched the numbers, I can
exclusively reveal that the pot looks like going to the Potteries as Guy’s acca
scored him a magnificent £313.12. When you stick that with his Week 1 win
it puts him over £100.00 to the good. Well
done, me duck.
Given the above, it hardly seems
worth the effort of adding up the other wins, but you never know it might make
all the difference come Week 10. Yeah,
right.
IAN WILKINSON’s win would have been big news any other week and he
deserves just as much credit as the big-hitters, though you can’t spend credit
here. His five-timer of Chelsea, Newcastle, Brighton, Leicester and
Ipswich was a cracker and puts him
in to 5th place with a bullet.
Better than a head-butt from that cocksplash Alan Pardew.
Last, and definitely least, is ROB WHITBY. Flying firmly in the face of fearlessness, he
took no chances with his odds-on acca of Chelsea,
Leicester, Celtic, Borrusia Dortmund and Vitesse. It may be a bridge
too far for him now, as £8.53 is
barely his bus fare home.
There were a couple of hard luck
stories, notably Bob Baker, but let’s be honest, we’re all losers here.
So that’s Week 5 in the record
books. In the words of the late Roy
Castle, desperation’s what you need.
Think on, when you’re that far behind you need snookers, you’re not
going to get there with easy reds. Go
for the difficult brown.
Keep
smiling
LAW
PS
– I’m still laughing
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