Week 4 Report

TIPSTERMANIA 18 WEEK 4 REPORT

THAT GET CARTER

CC seizes the day

MONKEY OFF METCALF’S BACK

Five-timer swings Tony into top 10

WE HIT THE BAR!

And other tales of woe

Maniacs, one and all.

Good form dictates that I structure these reports around the week’s success stories, congratulating those of you blessed with the good fortune to have picked a winner, giving them top-billing and working my way down the list.  Trouble is, this week, all the good stuff will be at the bottom of the glass, which was half empty to begin with.

My oldest friend CHRIS CARTER was the biggest winner of Week 4.  That’s not to say that he’s geriatric, more that I’ve known him since before I can now recall.  His Dad, Bert, won this very thing a few years back and has passed his canny knack down to his son and heir.  Chris won’t be scooping the pot in one go, though.  His horse treble of Balder Succes 9/4, Irving 4/6 and Aqalim 2/1 only gets him £32.50, but it puts him in 5^th spot and nicely placed for as we come towards the halfway stage.

The funny thing about the next couple of winners, and I use the words “funny” and “winners” in the most generous of senses, is that they both managed to successfully convert a five-timer, which is a rare feat indeed, whilst barely troubling the winnings column.  Firstly, TONY METCALF, a first time winner, put Arsenal 4/11, Man City 2/11 and Man Utd 8/13 together with the aforementioned Irving and another odds-on fav Monkey Kingdom 4/5 to collect the paltry sum of £15.62.  Well done, Tony. 

Then NIGEL “I’m not a funny man” THOMAS, who has never knowingly been confused with Evel Knievel, trod his usual risk-free path by picking the same low-hanging fruit of Arsenal and Man City, with Chelsea 8/13, Derby 17/20 and Leicester 3/5.  Not even Nige can make £15.41 look interesting.

Your next low-roller is BOB BAKER, who now has a 50% strike rate following his win in Week 1.  Sadly for him, his chances of winning the whole thing appear significantly less than that if he keeps picking short-priced trebles like Preston Evens, Orient 4/5 and Derby 3/5, which paid out just £11.52.  Slow and steady may win the race, but it rarely wins Tipstermania.

The next pair didn’t even break double figures, the crazy fools.  PAUL “Careful now” PRESCOTT had two winners and a non-runner in a treble so I suppose I should cut him a small amount of slack.  Lord knows I’ve given him enough grief over the years, most of which he’s deserved, but the £8.55 he got from On His Own 11/8 and Grandeur 4/5 would hardly have rolled-up into anything significant had the other one won.  He is a two-time champion, though, so I suppose he knows what he’s doing, although if you’d seen him sauntering after the scorecard (mine) that he dropped yesterday at the golf, barely breaking out of a stroll as it blew, in short bursts, a full 50 yards into a pond, you wouldn’t back him in a sprint finish.

Our final success required a jeweller’s eye-piece to find. I will be gentle with STE “father of Lee” MARSH because, let’s face it, he’s suffered enough already.  On top of the their Lee and being a fellow Evertonian, he’s had his own struggle with cancer.  So I won’t knock him as hard as I could have for choosing Arsenal, Man City and Chelsea for a piffling £3.81.  It’s all in a good cause and thanks for joining in, Ste.

None of the above will be shedding any tears for the rest of us, expect from laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of what you are about the read.

There were so many hard luck stories this week I’m expecting Noel Edmonds to turn up in his helicopter soon and send us all to Lapland.   I was going to regale you with the full horror of my own misfortune, but the pain is still too raw.  It’s all on Twitter and Facebook anyway.  It’s like Anne Franks diary if she had been locked in a bookies, only with less laughs.  One after another of us got a sweat on, only to be molested by the fickle fist of fate, and not in a good way.

My thoughts at this difficult are with Michael Howard (3^rd horse in a treble beaten 3/4L), Chris Woodhead (4 from 5 acca), Alan Withe (5 from 6) and Guy Ronald, who managed a magnificent 7 from 8, with his loser being Rangers at 1/12!  What’s that, it serves him right for picking such a pathetically short-priced fav?  How dare you pick on my fellow sufferer, you heartless wretch!  (You’re absolutely right, by the way). 

So it’s back to the drawing board for Week 5.  I’m to sleep, perchance to dream of that elusive winner.  I just it’s not about Anne Frank in Noel Edmonds helicopter, chasing Prec into a lake.

Keep smiling

LAW